It’s the most wonderful time of the year, or so the song tells us. I, however, find myself increasingly grumpy. This is my annual affliction as the Christmas season creeps closer and closer to the start of the Christian year (which was this past Sunday, by the way).

The reason I get annoyed with Christians right about now is not because they are celebrating Christmas, but because they are skipping Advent—and thereby missing out on an opportunity to deepen their understanding and experience of God-with-us.

Now I admit, I’m a liturgy geek. A church decorated red during Advent gets my panties in a bunch. A Christian singing “Joy to the World, the Lord has come” in this season makes me /facepalm/. I’ve been called the “liturgy police” and even “Scrooge” (though I might point out that A Christmas Carol takes place on December 24, not November 24… just sayin’). But still, I think there’s something important being missed, something that all Christians need, whether they know a crucifer from a thurible.

Which reminds me: everything I’m saying here applies solely to Christians. I have no beef with a non-Christian celebrating Christmas in her own way, and starting in July if she likes. The cultural Christmas is a different holiday. (And I also participate in it to an extent (going to parties, gifting, watching claymation specials, etc.)

So with all that in mind, allow me a moment on my soapbox.

This year, I kicked off my grumpfest with a status update on Facebook. I remarked that the “Christmas Season” doesn’t actually begin until December 25, and could everyone please hold their decorating, music, and celebration of Christ’s birth just a bit longer?

Well, that got some response! People reacted as if I was trying to take Christmas away from them. Far from it! I’m trying to restore Christmas—to give it some meaning again apart from cutesy décor and overplayed carols. And just like Easter can mean immeasurably more when you have taken all of Lent to prepare for it, I don’t think you can really experience the wonder of Christmas without a season of anticipation and intentional waiting.

A season we in the Christian world call Advent.

I think I get grumpy because, in my heart, I don’t feel like it’s fair that other people are already getting to “do” Christmas, while I am still waiting. They’re enjoying the music I also love, putting up beautiful decorations that I have packed away. They are bringing Christmas into their homes, while I twiddle my thumbs and wait for God’s timing. Sure, I’d love to sing the more familiar carols and put up a tree the day after Thanksgiving. But I have learned that I need the forced rest, the pulling back, the resistance to the desire to get Christmas when I want it.

Here’s the thing: God isn’t about instant gratification. Christ comes when Christ chooses to, not on my timeline, and I can’t make him come. I can’t make it be Christmas. Advent commemorates both Christ’s first coming 2,000 years ago, and his reign that Christians hope will one day be consummated with complete “peace on earth.” We all know that we are nowhere near that day. We are waiting.

Advent teaches us how to wait for God. Waiting is something we are so terrible at. This morning I was behind a slow car on the road, unable to get around him before making my turn. In that moment I had to stop and breathe, allow myself to take all of fifteen seconds longer to get home. Just that little discipline opened me up—the breath was so refreshing, the letting go was so relaxing.

Now imagine making waiting and patience an intentional part of your day all throughout this season. The “Christmas” values of peace on earth and goodwill to all would naturally flow out of this demeanor. You would be countering the stress and hurry of the culture’s Christmas. You would breathe calm into a harried world.

More than this, you would be recognizing that God is in charge, that you trust God’s plan over your own preferences.

I realize asking people to change their holiday traditions is a tall order. But the fact is, Advent and Christmas can’t take place simultaneously. It simply doesn’t work that way, since Advent is anticipating Christmas. If we want to truly experience Advent, Christmas will have to wait, and we have to learn to let it come later.

I will admit I get a “fix” now and then: I’ll put on “winter” music or secular carols, take my kids around to see decorated houses, exchange early gifts with my family and friends. I don’t have a problem with the culture’s version of Christmas. But I think we need to be very clear: as Christians, that is not our season. (For a fascinating study of America’s cultural Christmas and its religious ramifications, see Dell deChant, The Sacred Santa.)

We must provide—for ourselves, our children, and especially our churches—a counter-narrative. Ironically, I think that the “war on Christmas” has largely been waged by the Church itself, through buying into the culture’s timeline and story instead of God’s.

The Christian Christmas season begins December 25, with the Feast of the Nativity of our Lord, and lasts until January 6, the Feast of the Epiphany. We spend twelve days celebrating the Incarnation, and it is key to our faith. We prepare ourselves for this miracle through the Advent season. But more-so, we practice it to remind ourselves that it’s not just the baby in Bethlehem for whom we hope—we mindfully seek the ongoing coming of our King.

Let’s learn to love the waiting, living in hope, and treasuring the glimpses of the promise that we are graced to receive in this beautiful season.

Not sure how to get started? Check out Busted Halo’s Advent Calendar for a daily quote from pop culture and an activity to get you in the spirit of the season (the real season, eh hem).

© Anastasia McAteer